Targeted (F)ads ~essay
Have been pretty preoccupied lately with a forthcoming piece about body complexes. I'll be posting that hopefully soon, but I wanted to write something semi-related in the meantime. It seems to me that with targeted ads on social media now being the primary way companies communicate with us, body issues are potentially getting worse? At least that's what my recent experiences and observations are showing, and I know I can't be the only one. Let me take a step back and hopefully explain:
Over the last six months or so, I've been trying to treat my body with more respect. And what I mean by that is checking in with myself, mentally and physically, and listening to what my needs are. I'm trying to eat cleaner, cut down on drinking, eat according to how I feel (i.e. if I feel distracted, I eat something high in Iron; if I feel sluggish, I eat a veggie-centric dish; if I'm absolutely famished, I eat a big bowl of pasta;) exercising consistently; and writing more frequently. You've heard this, guaranteed a thousand times over - it's a lifestyle change; not a strict regimen. I'm trying not to police myself throughout, and more importantly I'm learning how to forgive myself if I do something contrary to my routine.
This is truly the healthiest I've been in a while (again, mentally and physically,) and it's taken me about 16 years to figure out what works best for me. Like so many, I grew up having a really horrible relationship with food. It seemed like it was either one end of the spectrum or the other for me - either I would binge eat to the point of feeling sick and not being able to move, or I would starve myself, struggling to reach 800 calories a day. I don't know if I have an addictive personality per se, but I do get very stuck in behavioral patterns. It takes a lot for me to break habits or processes I've established for myself.
In high school, I became obsessed with my body and shedding pounds - I would count every calorie consumed, cancel plans so I could fit in my daily workout, get distracted during conversations because I couldn't stop thinking about how my body compared to the person I was talking to. This carried into college obviously. I became painfully aware of every roll and how the folds of my body rest upon each other. It made me cringe. I hate reflecting on this, but I remember often feeling so disgusting that I would leave social functions because I was so distracted by my self-hating thoughts. I could go on and on about this, but no point in beating a dead horse (sorry PETA, I think you said you now prefer the phrase "feeding a fed horse.") Point is, historically, when I would try to focus on my "health" more I would become obsessed and wind up doing more damage to myself.
Now in my mid-twenties, I've been trying to focus on qualitative measurements of health, rather than quantitative. I don't weigh myself; I don't count calories; I don't force myself into doing x minutes of cardio x times per week. I'm just being attentive to what makes me feel strong, which is a primarily vegan diet and regular moderate activity, like barre and pilates. That said, I guess a lot of what I currently google is health-focused stuff.
And here's where the facebook entity's algorithm really fails. We all know at this point that the targeted ads we see on social media are shaped by our internet history. For me right now, about every four posts/stories I view, I see an ad for Kayla Itsines, Mari Fitness, Knixwear, 30-day Barre Challenges, etc. And I get it; based on my search history, Facebook assumes that's what I want to see. To a degree, Facebook is right; however, I like to curate that kind of content for myself because I know how easily I am affected by it. When I'm decompressing, the last thing I want to see is a barrage of extremely fit women; or before and after photos, where the "before" is a perfectly normal-sized person, about my weight. I know I'm healthy and that I'm taking care of myself, but when I see these images and videos over and over and over again, the parade of thoughts that I'm too ___ and not enough ___ consume me. I immediately start thinking of ways to restrict myself:
"I'll go back to limiting myself to 1100 calories a day"
"I'll walk home from work every day (~2 miles) and do cardio in the mornings"
"I'll stop keeping any processed food in the house."
Maybe harmless-seeming but that quickly degrades into me googling fad diets, cleanses, and quick fixes. The obsession rears its ugly head again. And that uptick in google searches only contributes to the vicious feedback loop. Facebook then takes that data and filters my ads even more. All my apparel ads are now for Fabletics, Athleta, and Under Armour. All the sponsored lifestyle accounts are along the lines of "slightly fluffy woman underwent bodybuilding transformation; can now run half marathon every other day." All my sponsored food accounts are marketing paleo-raw diets, appetite suppressants, juice mixes, intermittent fasting routines, etc. It's all just too much. Maybe I'm easily "triggered," (I know we all love that word,) but isn't the whole point of social media (for good and for not) supposed to be you carving out a corner of the internet for yourself? You control the content you see; the people you follow. But with these targeted ads, based on algorithms that I don't think anyone has *fully* figured out, you're being spoon-fed a lifestyle you didn't totally subscribe to. You can be interested in something, and not want to submerge yourself in it.
I don't really like posting complain-y essays, but I truly don't know what to make of what's happening. Maybe I've had my blinders on up until now, but I've just observed the ads getting to be more frequent and more homogenous over the last few months. I know I don't want to see ads all about the same thing. I don't think anyone does? Suppose I'm wondering if anyone else is feeling similarly, or if someone has ideas for how to protect my personal data more. I've tried reporting some of the ads, but it doesn't really seem to be helping much. Just really hoping to be able to go back to enjoying Instagram again, without having to worry about triggering third party content. Sue me.
Over the last six months or so, I've been trying to treat my body with more respect. And what I mean by that is checking in with myself, mentally and physically, and listening to what my needs are. I'm trying to eat cleaner, cut down on drinking, eat according to how I feel (i.e. if I feel distracted, I eat something high in Iron; if I feel sluggish, I eat a veggie-centric dish; if I'm absolutely famished, I eat a big bowl of pasta;) exercising consistently; and writing more frequently. You've heard this, guaranteed a thousand times over - it's a lifestyle change; not a strict regimen. I'm trying not to police myself throughout, and more importantly I'm learning how to forgive myself if I do something contrary to my routine.
This is truly the healthiest I've been in a while (again, mentally and physically,) and it's taken me about 16 years to figure out what works best for me. Like so many, I grew up having a really horrible relationship with food. It seemed like it was either one end of the spectrum or the other for me - either I would binge eat to the point of feeling sick and not being able to move, or I would starve myself, struggling to reach 800 calories a day. I don't know if I have an addictive personality per se, but I do get very stuck in behavioral patterns. It takes a lot for me to break habits or processes I've established for myself.
In high school, I became obsessed with my body and shedding pounds - I would count every calorie consumed, cancel plans so I could fit in my daily workout, get distracted during conversations because I couldn't stop thinking about how my body compared to the person I was talking to. This carried into college obviously. I became painfully aware of every roll and how the folds of my body rest upon each other. It made me cringe. I hate reflecting on this, but I remember often feeling so disgusting that I would leave social functions because I was so distracted by my self-hating thoughts. I could go on and on about this, but no point in beating a dead horse (sorry PETA, I think you said you now prefer the phrase "feeding a fed horse.") Point is, historically, when I would try to focus on my "health" more I would become obsessed and wind up doing more damage to myself.
Now in my mid-twenties, I've been trying to focus on qualitative measurements of health, rather than quantitative. I don't weigh myself; I don't count calories; I don't force myself into doing x minutes of cardio x times per week. I'm just being attentive to what makes me feel strong, which is a primarily vegan diet and regular moderate activity, like barre and pilates. That said, I guess a lot of what I currently google is health-focused stuff.
And here's where the facebook entity's algorithm really fails. We all know at this point that the targeted ads we see on social media are shaped by our internet history. For me right now, about every four posts/stories I view, I see an ad for Kayla Itsines, Mari Fitness, Knixwear, 30-day Barre Challenges, etc. And I get it; based on my search history, Facebook assumes that's what I want to see. To a degree, Facebook is right; however, I like to curate that kind of content for myself because I know how easily I am affected by it. When I'm decompressing, the last thing I want to see is a barrage of extremely fit women; or before and after photos, where the "before" is a perfectly normal-sized person, about my weight. I know I'm healthy and that I'm taking care of myself, but when I see these images and videos over and over and over again, the parade of thoughts that I'm too ___ and not enough ___ consume me. I immediately start thinking of ways to restrict myself:
"I'll go back to limiting myself to 1100 calories a day"
"I'll walk home from work every day (~2 miles) and do cardio in the mornings"
"I'll stop keeping any processed food in the house."
Maybe harmless-seeming but that quickly degrades into me googling fad diets, cleanses, and quick fixes. The obsession rears its ugly head again. And that uptick in google searches only contributes to the vicious feedback loop. Facebook then takes that data and filters my ads even more. All my apparel ads are now for Fabletics, Athleta, and Under Armour. All the sponsored lifestyle accounts are along the lines of "slightly fluffy woman underwent bodybuilding transformation; can now run half marathon every other day." All my sponsored food accounts are marketing paleo-raw diets, appetite suppressants, juice mixes, intermittent fasting routines, etc. It's all just too much. Maybe I'm easily "triggered," (I know we all love that word,) but isn't the whole point of social media (for good and for not) supposed to be you carving out a corner of the internet for yourself? You control the content you see; the people you follow. But with these targeted ads, based on algorithms that I don't think anyone has *fully* figured out, you're being spoon-fed a lifestyle you didn't totally subscribe to. You can be interested in something, and not want to submerge yourself in it.
I don't really like posting complain-y essays, but I truly don't know what to make of what's happening. Maybe I've had my blinders on up until now, but I've just observed the ads getting to be more frequent and more homogenous over the last few months. I know I don't want to see ads all about the same thing. I don't think anyone does? Suppose I'm wondering if anyone else is feeling similarly, or if someone has ideas for how to protect my personal data more. I've tried reporting some of the ads, but it doesn't really seem to be helping much. Just really hoping to be able to go back to enjoying Instagram again, without having to worry about triggering third party content. Sue me.
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